Common sense, for when things are difficult inside.
Some people may have never prayed or meditated. Maybe if they, it was never for a sustained period of time. If this is the case for you, of for any other reason, feel free to just plan on connecting for 10 minutes. Then, over time, and if you are touched and/or inspired; increase the amount of time.
For some people, there will be times of pray/med that you are too tired. You may experience it as mental or physical fatigue. Unless you can really work through this kind of tiredness, pick another time.
Another problem both beginners, and non-beginners, can experience is mental distraction; ie: finding yourself constantly going off on thought, memory, plan or expectation etc… A few things I have found helpful:
- First you must notice it is taking place. If you don’t you will simply space out with the distraction subject.
- Don’t judge yourself. Judgment simply starts a fight with yourself. If judgemental-ness is strong in you at this moment, it is ok; just work to not feed it (the judgmental-ness). Over time, as it is not fed, it reduces.
- A very good way to learn to hold your attention is by using a zikr or mantra that suits you. It will open up an energy that will support you. The zikr /mantra is not to the Baba, but it is a prayer to Life (God / Unity of Being/ what is bigger than you that you trust is Good)
- During times of distraction or difficulty – if you can – remember the Baba. Ask for support. This is very potent in combination with the zikr/ mantra.
- Another very useful strategy is to use the act of breathing. I suggest you see Menu Point: Formats for Prayer & Meditation and go to drop-down: Heart of the Breath Meditation. You can implement the essence of this meditation for helping you bring your attention back to the present.
- If you have a persistent problem holding attention, the Heart of the Breath Meditation and the Candle Meditation may be very helpful, for however long you want to use them for during the mediation before you go back to your original approach.
When you have built up some degree of experience at pray/med and you hit disturbance and conflict
Again, what I say here comes from my own experience and what I have found useful. Always, though, it will be the case, that each of us must find our own way. If any of this can be helpful, then that is good.
The most honest thing I can say about this is that there are different levels of disturbance and conflict. They come from different places within us and – on rare occasions – not from within us. The most common level of disturbance comes from the personality nature and the ego nature. They are not the same; but the ego takes advantage of our naivety and unresolved psychology.
It would be best to deal with the personality disturbances in this article. A further article will be written about the issues of ego: its purpose, its poison, and its resolution.
Personality disturbances
It doesn’t matter if you know what a disturbance in your meditation is about; or if you can remember what past events they come from; or even what life time they may come from. And analysis won’t change how you are with the disturbance or with yourself or with Life.
Disturbances: internal arguing, intense distraction, being ‘fed-up’ with the meditation, nothing is happening, this isn’t what I wanted, I can’t find peace, etc… are so often symptomatic of internal pain and conflict. Most people try to, either, over-ride the conflict point (mainly to avoid it) or fall into the surface self-complaint and self-judgement for being distracted or disturbed in the first place. In some situations, we blame the meditation itself or something outside is disturbing us.
Alternatively, you could:
- Meditate to be present to all of who you are; not to find peace and happiness (these will come along in the ‘bye and bye’). If we are willing to meet what comes, we will already be taking a big step towards surrendering to Life and the life we are in. Meditation isn’t an escape; it is an encounter with Self & Life.
- recognise that disturbance is happening
- work to not complain or judge (or feed your judgement)
- acknowledge the ‘nature’ of the disturbance: ‘I am unhappy’, ‘I’m in conflict’, ‘it feels too hot’, ‘I need space’, I want to get away, I don’t like this (myself) etc…
- decide if you will open to it or try to disconnect or avoid?
- if you are to open to it; then
- allow its existence. It often comes with a physical tension or conflict. Allow it too.
- If possible, shift from the ‘I’ or ‘it is ….’ to: ‘that experience is happening within me’
- If you can make that shift you move from feeding into it – to being the ‘holder of the space it is taking place in’. This is a very big difference.
- Invite what is there to come up; any feeling, attitude, atmosphere. When you invite you don’t force, but neither are you subtly controlling or avoiding either.
But if you are going to invite conflict to be. Allow it space to reveal; then where will you stand? Where will you bring this conflict; this predicament to? Remember, these conflicts have been with us for a long time in some shape, manner or manifestation. They are often rooted in a lot of personal story and history.
Negotiating, arguing, analysing or cleverly trying to get rid of it; is just more of what we have done all our lives; directly or indirectly with the root of these issues: whatever current manifestation they may have.
Here are two options of ‘where to stand’ and ‘where you bring this conflict to’.
- If you can’t hold your heart open with it (and many of us will not be ready to do this right away) then:
- Open to the Teacher(s) and ask for support, if you can remember in the midst of the conflict.
- Connect to your lower tummy so you have a place to stand with it. If you work with this, you will realise this can make all the difference.
- Don’t forget to breathe. The breath is to connect yourself -in the situation; not breath heavily to get rid of it or lightly so you can avoid it (the uncomfortable experience).
- Don’t let a thought-experience-picture run you out of your own space. You have a right and duty to be in your own space and life. Remember, you are so much more than any thought-experience-picture you will ever have. You are more the space it happens in, than what is happening.
Life has given us a place that there is respite and resolution (usually one step at a time) for the predicament of the personality desires, fears and conflicts – no matter how strong or difficult that predicament may be. That place is the Heart.
But one must develop the resolve to open the heart in the first place. This means that we agree to:
- meet (rather than avoid) our vulnerability, to some degree
- trust our deeper Self and Life’ to some degree
- let go of trying to control that which we cannot control, to some degree
- embrace our relationship with (whatever is there) and with Life, to some degree.
To the degree that we develop the above relationships with Life, Self and our predicament of personality, we will grow. This is where the Teacher(s) can help so much. They are the Masters of the Heart. They know how it works; they can see your predicament where you can’t. They have no judgement; only a willingness and tremendous capacity to help.
So, if we can open a space of relating with the Teacher(s); he will teach us about the process of creating a space with our heart, towards:
- our personality predicament;
- our deeper Self
- and to the Divine.